saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
