I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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