can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
