Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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