That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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