omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
