did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize