i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
