Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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