At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
