I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
