ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
