dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
