Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there was a trapeze. enough said
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
