He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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