to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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