lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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