My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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