He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize