when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
