her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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