she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize