period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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