no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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