I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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