I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
