did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
