I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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