all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
