We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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