The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
