Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
