im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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