I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
