I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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