And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
