Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
