So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
