I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
