I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
