watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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