Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
