i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize