We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's blow job season.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
