chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
