i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize