we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
