As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
