I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
