Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
