Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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