I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
