So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
