Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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