You really coming over, don't trick.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
