he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
