Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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