You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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