hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
