carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
